My husband never read the "how to take care of yourself", mens edition, handbook. He came home today and asked why, when I hung his brand new dress pants, I hung a towel, neatly folded, over the hanger first. I stared dumbfound at him for a while, unable to believe that I heard what I heard.
See, I'm pretty sure that handbook would have been something like this:
1) You're gonna grow hair places them women folk don't. That means shaving and extra deodorant. Sorry, doesn't matter if you want it or not. (Also note: 72 hour protection on deodorant/antiperspirant is not real. Apply daily, at minimum. The people who have to be physically near you deserve it.)
2) You're gonna get erections. You'll mostly want these, and if you need this list to tell you what to do with them, you aren't ready for them. (Note: Do not attempt to pee with one unless in dire circumstances.)
3) Clothes must be washed regularly. On top of being human, number one on this list doesn't help matters, and occasionally, number 2 is mean like that too. It happens.
4) Dress pants can not be hung over 2 millimeter wide hangers. It'll crease your 60$ dress pants. Toss a towel over it, or, if you're really cheap and all your towels are in the wash (cause we know you wash those regularly too) use a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels.
There's more, of course. But I'm going to stop at number four, since that's the one that directly applies. What is with parents not teaching their kids the basics for adult maintenance?
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