Here's the deal

If I have time in between finishing dinner and your butt finally coming back to my table to do this:

Chances are you're not getting a great tip. Just sayin'. 

Some days you just walk on by

Others, you find yourself wondering what a troll king tastes like. Is it rancid from the first cut, or taste like buttery unicorn meat? Is it best served with mustard or ketchup, or does it require its own special sauce that, had the troll king catchers been paying attention, would have come with the meat. These are questions I'll never have the answers to.