On Commercials

'Low T'? Does changing the word testosterone to the letter 'T' somehow make it more manly to have? Is it more acceptable? Does it make it easier to talk about, since you can say you have 'low t' instead of actually naming it? Does it somehow make a man less of a man to know that, with age, the vast majority of men end up with lower testosterone? I'm generally perplexed at the notion that the drug makers think they're fooling anyone with this.

Xeljanz - Did we just give up? Every freaking medication name on the planet has a j, x, z or v in it. Not to mention, this name has nothing in common with the actual pharmaceutical name, nor does it say anything about the disease it's trying to help. Either that or it's a really cool new type of Vans. That could be it.

The General insurance - choose your due date? This insurance is obviously marketed towards people who have no concept that things can be paid on a date that isn't listed on their statements. It's an incredible concept. You get paid, you pay your shit, whether it's due the same day or not. Then again, if you don't know this, you probably should be paying $418 a month on a 14 year old beater for insurance. It's a stupid tax.

VistaPrint - I love the things you make. I fucking hate your commercials. Ask my husband what commercial is my most hated, and he'll tell you. The VistaPrint commercial with that idiot who makes it sound like VistaPrint is amazing because he "probably has 20 to 30 business cards at any given time". Okay then. Hope you win that free buffet lunch you tossed your business card into the fishbowl at the No. 1 Buffet for.

Medical Alert - I have no idea why I love you so much. I shouldn't. You're on the Syfy channel. I'm 29. I don't need Medical Alert, and most senior citizens aren't all that interested in watching Fangasm or Paranormal Activity, so I assume that your commercial airs on this channel purely for my amusement. (You didn't know I was wearing it, did you?)

Dyson - You're a pretentious prick. The Dyson commercials rank directly below VistaPrint on my hated commercials list. I'm sorry, but Americans are fucking broke. Don't pull out big words in a foreign accent, and think it sounds appealing. Maybe I'm alone in this, but there's a large difference between "Our product is the best!" and "Our product is far superior to those inferior models of vacuums that you pedantic Americans currently use." Dyson, please figure it out.

Danner Boots - Until the very end of your commercial, I thought it could be one of three things - a truck commercial, a viagra commercial, or a financial planning commercial. What your advertising effort did was make me raise my eyebrow and go 'What?', but it definitely didn't raise Danner up on my list of shoe-ware to buy, for me or my husband.

But what this all really says is... I watch too much TV and let too many stupid things annoy me.