Housing, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the siding of the new houses that are clearly visible from the main road is more important than renovating our 25 year old kitchen cabinets, and are now in the process of painting those visual eyesores they call town houses. Because, you know, can't offend the big wigs driving past.
I'm not bitter.
It's not like I have less counter space than a studio apartment. Or no pre-installed lighting in any rooms. Or showers that don't leak. Drains that don't back up constantly, or a true working garbage disposal. Or doors and windows that seal properly.
But I'm not bitter.
It's not like I pay 1500$ a month for the above listed monstrosities.
But that's not the point of this post.
Point is, as I was driving by the painters, I realized that they were wearing all white, as they're painting the townhouses in a distinctly not-white color. Which made me think, who decided white was a good color for a painter's uniform? I mean, no one in their right mind paints anything pure white. Especially not the Navy, who specialize in nicotine yellow for housing.
So what color does work for it? Should they have rotating uniforms, I wondered? Matching their outfits to the color they're working with? Or a rainbow camouflage, so that any splotches would never be seen? It could be like an initiation ritual - hark back to 1992, when all the cool teenagers splatter painted their bedrooms. Only they do it with clothes.
No. No I decided the appropriate uniform for a painter should be Vaseline. No replacement of uniforms. No washing required. Just your normal shower, and perfectly soft skin every day.
And gloves, of course. Wouldn't want to drop those paint brushes when you're all Vaselined up.
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